Q: Is the content in your free teaser version the funniest ones from the full version of the catalog?
A: Nope! Humor has a subjective quality, but I honestly did not pick some of the funniest ones in my opinion. I saved these for the paying customers.
Q: How many catalog items are there in the full version?
A: Buy the book and find out. Just kidding. My creative juices were exhausted after 30 products.
Q: In what format is the full version the book provided?
A: It is provided as a PDF (Portable Document Format) file that is immmediately available for download. Unlike the free version, the full version is not available as a set of HTML pages.
Q: If I don't have a credit card or PayPal account, can I still buy your book?
A: Sure. I'm desperate. Send your payment (no cash please) to the following address. It is very important to include your email address with this payment. When your payment clears, a copy will be sent via email.
Happy Places, LLC
P.O. Box 126278
Benbrook, TX 76126
Q: How long did it take to write this book?
A: A little over a year as a low priority effort (only a few days longer than drafting these questions and answers).
Q: Why is "fantassy" spelled with two 's's?
A: It's not right that the word "asinine" is spelled with one 's' so this is my way of helping to balance the universe.
Q: Referring to your dedication page, do you really owe the illustrator money?
A: No. The illustrations required advanced payment. I could not con Thomas into a profit sharing joint venture or after profit payments. He's a smart, young man.
Q: Did beer influence your work in any way?
A: Yes. I want to be able to afford more beer, and major book sales would fund many six packs. Hey, it could happen.
Q: Is your plug for Mike Straka of foxnews.com a shameless marketing ploy?
A: Yep. Actually, I became inspired a couple of years ago when I realized so many readers from Mike's Grrrr column had similar experiences and opinions about jerks. His column provides a venting mechanism, spotlights transgressions, and helps people to understand that these jerks are often unaware that they are even being rude. My book is meant for the same audience. It was while reading the Grrr column that I decided it would be fun to do this book, and perhaps doomed the destiny of many trees in that instant.
Q: Richard, have you ever been employed as a lap dancer?
A: Hmmmm, let me see... nope.
Q: Do you consider your book a form of mental therapy?
A: Sure. It could provide some cathartic benefits, However, I am not really qualified or licensed to recommend or practice mental therapy (now my attorney is happy).
Q: What kind of cathartic benefits does your book provide?
A: I provide dark, sometimes homicidal flavored fantasies targeting the rude. It comes without the guilt because they are my ideas so you can disown them as being memories of my book without being the true creator of the evil thoughts involved with this mental self indulgence. I provide something on which to reflect with a smile when you have more encounters with the meat heads in the future, and you will (they are a busy bunch).
Q: How much does your ebook weigh?
A: This will depend heavily (pun intended) on where you store it.
Q: Will you publish it in print?
A: I would like to publish it, but this will depend on the ebook market response to raise the publishing funds.
Q: Who is your target audience?
A: I am targeting every human on the planet to buy at least one copy of my book. However, I would still be happy if it was popular with many of the commuters frustrated by daily road infractions, engineers and other geeky life forms, and the multitudes that just want a few more laughs in their life.
Q: Do you have any more marketing plugs for your ebook?
A: How about, “It gives your thumb drive a warm feeling inside.” Yep. I need an agent.
Q: Why do you think your book may sell?
A: In two words: "Pet Rocks". Also, it makes a great gift for someone you know that seems to be regularly frustrated by the daily impositions experienced as a direct result of boneheads.
Q: Is it possible that when I give this book as a gift, that the recipient will think that I am implying they are a jerk?
A: Wow! You just created an additional marketing approach for my book. THANK YOU!
Q: Do you accept sympathetic donations?
A: I encourage them actually, but you should be warned that they are not tax deductible.
